up to him a minute later, she said he looked as if he had seen a ghost.
“When I’m awake, all I want is to be back in the dream. And when I’m dreaming, all I want is to find her.”
“Every night the dream is the same. The world is ending, and I need to find her, and hold her, and touch her, and join myself with her so that we can transcend ourselves and escape.”
“So you view this girl as your savior? Is this a real girl John? Does she have a name?”
But John was not paying attention to his (court appointed) psychiatrist’s line of questioning. John continued, as he always did, on whatever stream of thought was carrying him currently.
“The world ends multiple times per day. Do you want to hear what it’s like?”
“Alright, John. Tell me about it.”
“Everything gets hot. The blacktop begins to sizzle. Buildings shake. At a certain temperature, the vibrational energy is so high that structures start collapsing. Bridges, towers, mountains, they literally
Periodically, John was unable to breathe. He could still draw breath, but he felt as if even when he breathed, he had not taken in any oxygen. When he first visited the doctor for it (in his 13th year), they thought he may have early-onset emphysema. Several tests ruled out any physiological basis. His doctor told his parents that the problem was likely psychological. The doctor told John that he was having panic attacks. They gave him a prescription for clonazepam (1mg), and sent him on his way.
Recently (in the past year), the attacks had been getting worse. It would feel like his lungs were filled with tar, and he would pass out. When he fell asleep at the wheel and plowed through a farmer’s market (killing two people and injuring several more), the authorities first thought that he had been under the influence. After extensive blood tests ruled out any psychotropic causes, the hospital advising board told